Thursday, November 17, 2011
AAARGH!
I am so frustrated. Tayvin challenges me on everything, and when he does something he shouldn't, like throw a toy, push buttons on the computer, blatantly disobey Mommy, etc., and I tell him to not touch and remove him from the computer, or hold his arm and tell him not to hit, or otherwise discipline him he throws a fit. And then I lose my cool because he is being a huge pain. I pretty much want to lock him in his room. And then there are moments when we play together so nicely, but then I'll be laying down and he wants me to get up, and I say, "No Tayvin, Mommy is tired and wants to lie down," and he throws a huge tantrum and cries. What the H E double hockey sticks to I do with this bratty kid?!
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So, I don't know if this will work with Tayvin or not, but it has helped with Eliza, so I thought I would throw it out there and see if it helps.
ReplyDeleteWhen Eliza starts to throw a fit, it helps to get her to make eye contact with me, and then ask her why she is crying. Making eye contact is usually the hardest part. She'll avoid my face and I have to keep chasing her line of sight and saying "Eliza, look at Mommy. Look at Mommy Eliza" etc. Once I can catch her eye she's usually a lot more calmed down. Asking her why she's crying usually ends it, unless she remembers that she's crying because she wants me to pick her up and I can't because I'm cooking dinner.
After she she's calmed down I give her a hug and ask her if she would like to ________, color, help Mommy (I'll let her add spices or something sometimes while I cook), look at a book or watch Yo Gabba Gabba (yes I use TV to baby sit while I make dinner. Hey, no one's perfect).
Also, I've started using Time out from time to time. The only places I could find that she didn't enjoy and couldn't leave on her own were a kitchen chair pulled away from the table, (so it's boring) and the toilet, with the lid down. I have to put her there and tell her that she is in trouble and she is time out and why. They say one minute for each year of age, but I've had to do longer, until she starts to not enjoy it.
Anyway, unsolicited parenting advice, so you can toss it out the window and I won't feel bad at all. I need to call you some time. Maybe during our drive back east. Should have lots of time on my hands there. :) You are not alone in your "I'm a terrible parent" moments. Love you!
Thanks Amie! Tayvin and I had a bad month where I was super impatient and he was really needy, so it was a bad combination. It has gotten better. :)
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